What a Difference a Day Makes!

(Great Smoky Mountains, 2010)

This time yesterday I was still in my pajamas and hadn’t done a thing but eat.   Today, I have already spent time with God, walked, ate a healthy breakfast, and I went Wal*Marting. 
   

Yesterday, when Ole Boy got home from work, he asked, “How’s your day been?”   I told him it had been miserable, and he could take me out for a Mexican dinner.   Today, he’ll have a nice home cooked and healthy dinner…most of which is warming in the crock pot.

I walked 25 minutes!   I almost decided not to tell that it took me 24 minutes to walk a mile…but what the heck?  It did take me that long.   I then walked one more minute for good measure (and for my OCD’s sake).

Afterwards, I realized I was out of bottled water and my filter on the tap is way past prime.   I drank tap water!   It didn’t kill me.  Yet.   Got some bottled water at Wal*Mart.  I really need to get a new filter, but I am recycling those bottles…not that I believe in global warming, but I definitely think we should recycle all we can, and not be wasteful.

The difference in yesterday and today, I think, is the fact that I accepted God’s grace.   His grace is always there!  Some days, it just envelopes us like a warm fuzzy cloak, but there are times when we have to reach out and grab hold, and cling to it with all our might.   Today…it’s more like a warm cloak, and I am so grateful.  

I Need a Do Over!

In my arrogance, I didn’t think I’d end up on a binge over Christmas.   After all, I’d done so well all month!   That ended Thursday night.    Again, in my arrogance, I thought I’d pop out of bed this morning, exercise, and get back on track today.   Not so much.   In my grazing today, I pushed aside all the important information of my previous post and just blindly followed my craving to eat.   (I am definitely going to reread that post…a little preaching to myself is what I need.)

I don’t do so well alone, apparently.   I do love my time off…but I prefer Ole Boy here with me.  I should have gone to Weight Watchers…I didn’t.  I tried to go yesterday, but because of a half inch of snow, no one with keys showed up, just me and one other chick.  The roads were completely clear, but such is the way of life in the deep south:   Snow?  Go quickly!  Buy milk and bread and stay home at all costs.   I don’t really want to weigh...but I have already paid for it, so I may as well “man up” and go.   

Tomorrow when I get up, the first thing I’m going to do is spend a little alone time with God.   Then I’m going to get on that dreadmill…even if it’s just for 10 minutes.  I am certain, though, if I do get on it, I will walk longer than 10 minutes.   While I’m there, I’m going to working on memorizing a Bible verse.  Or two.   Or more.

I’m watching “Hoarders” on A&E.   It’s completely unrelated to this post…but ding-dang!   I have so much for which to be thankful!

I didn’t even get dressed today until after 1 p.m.   After I got dressed, I couldn’t figure out why I bothered.   Even though I’d eaten all day, I just plotted a way to go eat Mexican tonight…and may I say I didn’t have to twist Ole Boy’s arm too much, either!   And I am miserable.   I fully understand at least one reason gluttony is a sin…it just hurts so bad…in more ways than one.

I do NOT intend for tomorrow to be a repeat of today.  I’ve lost my mojo…it’s one of those things I couldn’t understand how I got it, not sure how I lost it, and am a little unsure of how to get it back.   So I’ll depend on Grace, not myself, to make the change and the right choices for tomorrow.   Starting NOW.    Also, I won’t kick myself for the last five days of binge eating.  

I only have to worry about one day at a time.

I can, after all, do anything for a measly 24 hours.

Moving on....

My weight loss today was another 6.4 pounds.   It was strange!    Friday and Saturday, the scales had moved a little...Sunday, a little.  This morning, before I went to WW...I got on the scales and couldn't believe it.   Got off and on again...sure enough, I'd dropped about 6 pounds.    I was hoping the WW scales would confirm it, and they did.

My biggest victory here is not the number.

It goes much deeper than that.



Changes and Choices

Weight Watchers, or any other weight loss plan, is not my liberator.   It’s merely a tool, a device for me to implement changes in my life.  Liberation (freedom) comes with a renewed mind.

It starts with a thought.  Everything begins with a thought, both failure and success.  Therefore, I must change my thinking.   Thoughts become actions, actions become habits, habits become a lifestyle.   I am going to have thoughts…lots and lots of them.   It is my choice what I do with my thoughts; I can choose to arrest thoughts that are detrimental to my mental and physical health.   I must learn to cast down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.  (2 Corinthians 3:5)   This does not mean every time I think I’d like to have a cookie that I must strike that thought down because cookies are evil!    I will eat cookies again, I am sure.   For now, I’m happy that I’m saying… “Mmm, not right now, thanks!”

Success involves choices.   More directly, it involves making the right choices.   I know that the right choices are often the hardest choices, but when the temptation has passed, my joy for choosing correctly far outweighs the fleeting pleasure I had while giving into the temptation.   And there’s no guilt, no self-loathing, no wallowing in hopelessness and discouragement.  No cookies I ever tasted were worth those negative and very real feelings. 

Victory (freedom, that is) to me, is not switching one obsession for another.   It’s not spending precious time counting every calorie…every fat, fiber and protein gram that goes into my mouth.   Success doesn’t come when I am figuring out ways to eat every morsel I can and still remain “on plan.”  Ultimately, I will achieve only limited success when I still allow food to be the core purpose of my day.  It’s about eating healthy food when I’m hungry, and stopping when I’m satisfied.    It’s saying “No, thank you!” when I’m not hungry, and when I’ve had enough.  

It’s about TODAY.   It is knowing that I have God’s Grace to live today as He meant for me to live.   He promised that His Grace would be sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). 

I. Can. Do. This. Today.

I know I can because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  (Philippians 4:13) I don’t have to fear tomorrow’s failure.   When I awake in the morning, I will have a brand new and fresh supply of Grace to sustain me.

It’s my plan that on January 1, 2011, I will be able to say, “I lost 15 pounds in December!”   And I know at that moment, I will be so happy that I didn’t eat all the goodies available to me this Christmas week.   (I do plan to eat some goodies on Christmas Eve at my little party, and on Christmas at Mom’s!   I will have to go to WW and weigh on Sunday, that that will help me keep things in check, but I know deprivation isn’t the answer.)

I am grateful.

December Days, No Haze, No Daze!

December has been successful thus far (though I wonder about calling days of normality “successful.”) I have had candy and cookies, candy coated cookies, and candy coated pretzels, cupcakes and other various and assorted Christmas goodies tossed my way this month, and I have not partaken of even one! Some sweets have sat on my desk for days, and I didn’t eat them.


I’m not bragging.  I am amazed!  I do not know why on Sunday two weeks ago I wanted to eat everything in sight, as I had done for the several months before…yet Monday morning, I got up and was strong enough to say “No!” It must surely be Grace, because there is no other explanation.

Having said all that…I’ll tell you that I’ve turned down all that sugar, ate normal, healthy meals and snacks, and haven’t lost an ounce all week!!!! However, my mental attitude is so much better…just having a plan, I think. My not being out of control halts some anxiety that clouds me continually when I’m on a binge (and my binges are really, truly, fully binges!) I don’t wake up in the morning with the first thoughts of my day full of negatively and self loathing, but rather thoughts of hope and gratefulness. I don’t think I’ve ever faced a December with such positivity.

I know there is a possibility of having days where “No” isn’t a word my body will heed, but today, it is. I’ve been able to say, “No, I am not eating that cookie….that candy…that…whatever!” Even more importantly…I’ve been able to say, “No, I may have just eaten too much dinner, but I will not continue eating for the rest of the night!” That victory alone is a biggie because my mentality has always been off-kilter when it comes to guilt and rationality, and eating normally.

I am now making plans to start the treadmill again on Monday….or even this weekend!

I also slept much better last night, and I hope that’s a start of a new phase of my life.
Sleeping! (big, happy sigh)

I am most thankful.

One More Time

Obviously, I reopened this blog.

My news today is that I lost 6.4 pounds
on my first Weight Watcher's weigh in.
I call that my headstart for the new year.

I am On the Road Again...

the road to getting heathy and feeling better,
both mentally and physically.
On the Road Again to finding out
what it is that makes me eat like I eat.