I take a break from my non-posting in this blog to….blog!
I’ve been off work this week. It should have been a more positive experience than it has been, but because I let food (or my desire for it) dictate how I feel, it’s been a little on the lonely side. Even though it has been days that the Lord made, they have been a little gray and overcast, and my mood became the same way.
Eating didn’t help…it made things worse. Shopping didn’t help…I don’t normally spend money I don’t have, so I didn’t buy anything. Calling a friend didn’t help…not everyone is off this week.
So, I prayed.
I had a good long conversation with God, and He reminded me that I’m a princess, a daughter of the Most High God, and not a slave imprisoned by the cares of this world. I was feeling pretty misplaced…not lost, but misplaced…and as I left my prayer closet, I was feeling a little better.
I went to see my mother, who’s been feeling rather poorly these last few days, and I shared with her my confusion, disappointment, and feelings of defeat over my food obsession. (That’s a nice way to treat my ailing mother, isn’t it?) She talked to me about independence…that is, not living my life with a dependency on my urges to eat, but to live independent of those desires of the flesh, and to live in dependency on God. She also reminded me that I do have a choice, sympathized with me that I felt my problems were much deeper than just a choice, and reminded me again that I need to practice self-control.
She then said something else profound…we really don’t have much more time to get the word out to a dying and lost world. There is freedom. God said so, that settles it. She told me that as long as I was living under bondage like I am, how would I be going about the Father’s business? He has a work for me to do, but I’m so wrapped up in my obsession, that I only....obsess.
As I was leaving, she said,
“It’s time for you to stand up to the plate!”
And she didn’t just mean for me to get ready to bat the ball out of the ballpark. It’s time for me to stand up to the plate and say, “No!” every now and again. Exhibit some self-control. Gain some independence. Be about my Father’s business.
Thanks, Mom.