What a Wuss I am!

Yesterday morning,

I would have said that the numbers aren't the most important thing.

This morning,

I would call myself a liar!

Here's an equation to remember:

Chinese = water retention

UPDATE 2 hours later:

I was deceptive in the above statements.

Allow me to pontificate (I like that word).   It all started Thursday afternoon, when I made the decision to not go to the office party the next morning.   But, the next morning came, I was running late, didn’t have time to make a decent breakfast, and decided on the spur of the moment to go to the party.   I ate enough calories for the entire day.  But I did my exercise class, and for the next two meals, I did just fine, and I didn’t beat myself up.

Saturday morning, I got up feeling motivated, did my cardio workout…went to my sister’s birthday party, ate enough calories to last the whole day.   Then….finally…the Chinese buffet last night.   I don’t even have to say more than “buffet,” do I?   Today…I am really struggling to act right.   The only decisions and choices I want to make are the ones that are very bad food choices.  No self-control…I do NOT want to exhibit any self-control.    NONE.  I want to eat.

I’d ask God to take it from me, but I’d only hold on to it with both hands as He was trying to take it from me.   I not sure it works that way, anyway.   It’s probably more accurate thinking that I must make these decisions myself, and do it myself, no matter how hard it is.  I really don’t know.   I still believe in Freedom, but today, it’s cloudy.

In my previous entries I talked the talk…but I am hypocritically not walking the walk.

Tomorrow will be a better day.